Widening thine horizon

Ok so I had a little think, and I can't write forever and ever about food.

Cue gasp.

I have an inkling you, my 3 blog followers all of whom I directly beseeched to follow my blog, would get bored.

So I'm gonna write about some other shit, after all this is the LIFE critic, not the food critic.

So some stuff to come (hopefully)

- cool stuff i see on the net e.g. pictures, videos
- some home made videos yay
- other tidbits of my life of which you will be totally interested.

Sweet!

How not to make a toasted sandwhich, courtesy of Slurp Cafe

Some traditions should be done away with e.g. anti-semitism. Others, like the craft of making a good toasted sandwich, should not.

A good toastie is like a left lung - you don't really pay attention until its gone.

Thus I contemplated the culinary education of the person who made the disaster I was chewing. Notice - chewing, not eating.

What: Ham and pineapple toasted sandwich

Where: Slurp Cafe, level 0, Kate Edgar commons, UOA.

Ok, I get it, UOA is a 'business' now and thus is under regulation to squeeze every last penny from us. But does this policy have to extend to food as well?

When I ordered ham and pineapple, I did not for one second think they would include just that. Not a morsel of cheese to combine these two ingredients. Cheese is a given, like bread.

Ham - can't really remember. O that's right, because there was like, 1.45 pieces in the sandwich

Pineapple - another tradition that shouldn't be broken - pineapple should be in nice little digestible cubes. NOT A RING A LA CANNED WHOLE PINEAPPLE.

Bread - don't get me started. You know the shape that a toastie is supposed to resemble, edges tight, middle bread part puffing out with the filling almost bursting.

This? Looks (and tastes) like the chef used spit to glue the bread together, then fire-torched it for a couple of seconds.

Outta10: a dismal 2 if I ever saw one, I highly recommend it in place of metamucil.

The $4 Japan experience

Life is funny. Sometimes you can go for months without eating anything interesting, other times, you find a place like Happy Bear whilst waiting for a friend to shower.

What: Happy Bear

Where: Queen street, opposite the movies

What is it:

Courtesy of Wiki

Taiyaki (たい焼き, , literally "baked sea bream") is a Japanese fish-shaped cake.

You may think fish+cake=vomit, to which I reply, you otta be ashamed of yourself.

For $4, you can have a drink (Hot chocolate in my case) and a fish-shaped waffle with (chocolate/custard/red bean/cheese) filling, hailing from 1909 Japan.

This is the real thing, complete with good service from a cute little lady who doesn't speak English.

Read: gesturing.

For a rainy day snack, whale-meat free, check it out. Let Happy Bear make you Happy.

Outta10: 7.5

S U S H I

After that horrendous butter chicken affair, I thought I would eat something...less shit.

What:Uni Sushi. Like my mammary glands, the sushi here at UOA is small, but perfectly formed.

Accompanied by miso soup (made from the powder unfortu, but still retains the 'im drinking something hot and exotic' factor for all you anglos)

I thought I would give everyone a run down of the less visited areas of Uni sushidom, becaues really, what the hell does that pumpkin one taste like?

...actually it tastes pretty damn good. Erase your eurocentric notions of this vegetable, because this is the pumpking of the 21st Century. Kinda tastes like some sort of pickled vegetable, except 10000 times better. Challenge your bland tastebuds people.

On a related note, the cream cheese is also surprisingly delicious. Combination of cheese and pineapple traditionally belongs on some fastfood item beginning with 'Hawaiian...' but wrapped up in seaweed is just as good.

Lastly, this is not for the faint hearted or those that don't like fish (they're in the sea, they can breathe in water, what's not to like) try the eel sushi. If you're skint do the $1 ones, otherwise splurge on the $2 big pieces. Salty, teriyaki goodness.

Outta10: defo a 8.5, can end up a little more expensive than some other options but filling and uh...healthy.

Tip: if you're getting more than 6 pieces, ask for extra soy. You won't regret it when your companion runs out and is forced to consume soy-less, and therefore soul-less sushi.

P.s. Gran Torino is damn good. "What are you going to put your tools in, a rice bag?" Never has blatant racist comments sounded so charming. Clint Eastwood is a Grandpa who likes to kiss you on the cheek, but also wouldn't mind shooting you in the face.

Sayonarrrgghha!

You know what food I really don't like?

What: Exam

Where: Designated examination rooms located around UOA

Outta10: -12. Simply put, exams whether fried, blanched, boiled, simmered or baked, can kiss my ass

Hey KF, whats up with my C

SpiCy, that is.

Am disappointed with the Hot and Spicy range at colonel Sander's, dinner for 2 did not even tickle my tastebud. Not a single bud was tickled.

Mayhaps there was some mistake in the secret mixing of the 11 original herbs and spices, like they forgot to add 10 of them.




Sigh.

For all you coke zero lovers..

Read this before your next 'Full taste, Zero sugar' bottle.

http://www.thezeromovement.org/coke_zero_ingredients.html

I for one loathe all products which do not contain the full amount of fat/carbs/calories as per the original.

"I can't believe it's not butter!" - That's because it's soy lecithin and vegetable mono/diglycerides, stupid.