How not to make a toasted sandwhich, courtesy of Slurp Cafe

Some traditions should be done away with e.g. anti-semitism. Others, like the craft of making a good toasted sandwich, should not.

A good toastie is like a left lung - you don't really pay attention until its gone.

Thus I contemplated the culinary education of the person who made the disaster I was chewing. Notice - chewing, not eating.

What: Ham and pineapple toasted sandwich

Where: Slurp Cafe, level 0, Kate Edgar commons, UOA.

Ok, I get it, UOA is a 'business' now and thus is under regulation to squeeze every last penny from us. But does this policy have to extend to food as well?

When I ordered ham and pineapple, I did not for one second think they would include just that. Not a morsel of cheese to combine these two ingredients. Cheese is a given, like bread.

Ham - can't really remember. O that's right, because there was like, 1.45 pieces in the sandwich

Pineapple - another tradition that shouldn't be broken - pineapple should be in nice little digestible cubes. NOT A RING A LA CANNED WHOLE PINEAPPLE.

Bread - don't get me started. You know the shape that a toastie is supposed to resemble, edges tight, middle bread part puffing out with the filling almost bursting.

This? Looks (and tastes) like the chef used spit to glue the bread together, then fire-torched it for a couple of seconds.

Outta10: a dismal 2 if I ever saw one, I highly recommend it in place of metamucil.