S U S H I

After that horrendous butter chicken affair, I thought I would eat something...less shit.

What:Uni Sushi. Like my mammary glands, the sushi here at UOA is small, but perfectly formed.

Accompanied by miso soup (made from the powder unfortu, but still retains the 'im drinking something hot and exotic' factor for all you anglos)

I thought I would give everyone a run down of the less visited areas of Uni sushidom, becaues really, what the hell does that pumpkin one taste like?

...actually it tastes pretty damn good. Erase your eurocentric notions of this vegetable, because this is the pumpking of the 21st Century. Kinda tastes like some sort of pickled vegetable, except 10000 times better. Challenge your bland tastebuds people.

On a related note, the cream cheese is also surprisingly delicious. Combination of cheese and pineapple traditionally belongs on some fastfood item beginning with 'Hawaiian...' but wrapped up in seaweed is just as good.

Lastly, this is not for the faint hearted or those that don't like fish (they're in the sea, they can breathe in water, what's not to like) try the eel sushi. If you're skint do the $1 ones, otherwise splurge on the $2 big pieces. Salty, teriyaki goodness.

Outta10: defo a 8.5, can end up a little more expensive than some other options but filling and uh...healthy.

Tip: if you're getting more than 6 pieces, ask for extra soy. You won't regret it when your companion runs out and is forced to consume soy-less, and therefore soul-less sushi.

P.s. Gran Torino is damn good. "What are you going to put your tools in, a rice bag?" Never has blatant racist comments sounded so charming. Clint Eastwood is a Grandpa who likes to kiss you on the cheek, but also wouldn't mind shooting you in the face.

Sayonarrrgghha!

You know what food I really don't like?

What: Exam

Where: Designated examination rooms located around UOA

Outta10: -12. Simply put, exams whether fried, blanched, boiled, simmered or baked, can kiss my ass

Hey KF, whats up with my C

SpiCy, that is.

Am disappointed with the Hot and Spicy range at colonel Sander's, dinner for 2 did not even tickle my tastebud. Not a single bud was tickled.

Mayhaps there was some mistake in the secret mixing of the 11 original herbs and spices, like they forgot to add 10 of them.




Sigh.

For all you coke zero lovers..

Read this before your next 'Full taste, Zero sugar' bottle.

http://www.thezeromovement.org/coke_zero_ingredients.html

I for one loathe all products which do not contain the full amount of fat/carbs/calories as per the original.

"I can't believe it's not butter!" - That's because it's soy lecithin and vegetable mono/diglycerides, stupid.

Rainy Day Snack

You're cold, wet, miserable and alone. You've just handed in a big fuck-off assignment and you have a few more till you're through. Time to stuff the mandible.

Who: Ausa Quad Cafe

Where: ...The Quad

Critique:

This big, greasy piece of fried chicken is just what you need. Wash it down with a 440ml limited edition coke can from quad vending machine (NOT COKE ZERO). Or cold tap water, if you're poor or extra guilty.

You need to have several paper napkins to soak up the excess oil, as well as keep the wrapper attached to the chicken at all times. Grease stains on clothing may indicate one's ability to self-nutrionalise, but rarely attract the opposite sex.

Grease test: paper bag containing chicken MUST be see-through before completion of chicken.

Don't let the workers short-change you. Choose the piece of chicken that's calling out your name. Own your fowl destiny.

Outta10: 7. For $3, this little heart-failure inducing snack is a gem.

Why do you like food?

Karen Nguyen: "did you want a quote or do you want an essay?"

Appetiser

Hello World!

I didn't know what on Earth could be interesting to write about, so I'm going to write about the things I love and the things I don't love (hate is such a strong word, as my PC friends say)

I think I will start with food (an obvious love). Whenever I think about people writing on food, my mind wanders to unbearably high-nose cuisine magazines. So.

I would like to share with you all my take on the food around me, from an average Y-generation, overdraft facilitated, scared-of-the-future point of view.

Let's start with my love-hate for the "cuisines" available at UOA, The University of Auckland. (New Zealand)

Who: Jewel of India (Indian takeaway)
Where: Main student quad, Level 2

Critique: As with most Indian food targeted toward European/non-Indian appetites, Jewel of India over-does the food colouring and under-does (can you believe I'm an English major) the flavour. I'm not sure if you knew this, but Butter Chicken is not supposed to be bright Umpa-Lumpa orange.

Take note: colour should be something like this

Not this.

The actual Chicken was also disappointing - charred in places, I felt like I was eating the flesh of a very old, very weary Chicken who'd had a hard life.

Lastly, drinkbottle-lip contact is strictly forbidden after this meal, as the after-taste is foul. Your stomach doesn't feel good after the meal, and you can't help feeling your ass isn't going to feel good either.

Outta10: 4 (Eat it for experience, don't eat it for enjoyment)

Till Next Time :3